How is your practice changing you?
Who are you becoming?
In which direction are you moving?
Why does it matter?
What difference does it make?

I sat for an hour this morning in formal meditation. Moments after, I lost my sh** at my partner over something ridiculous. Or rather, the ridiculous (poorly folded bedsheet; I know, I know) triggered a suppressed sense of dissatisfaction. I walked away, paused, reflected, apologised and we laughed & moved on. He calls it my monthly red rage. The label usefully lightens me up, though I try not be bound by the pathology of the notion - concepts have their place but they can also limit and constrain self awareness.

Each time that my heated emotions are triggered, I try to get better each time at inserting a gap to acknowledge what's really going on so that I can respond more wisely (sidenote: I'm no saint and neither is my partner: the tempered expression of frustration definitely has its place in honest communication!).

For me, that's the why, what, how and which way of practice: progressively learning to pause, observe, question & navigate the path of being a good citizen, where good is discerning, kind, compassionate, open minded/hearted and non-judgemental.

Hence formal meditation is practice for regular life: applying the discriminative awareness we develop on the cushion in daily interactions. Disentangling ourselves from habitual ways that harm rather than help. We don't always get it right & that's okay. If we weren't flawed and vulnerable, there would be no practice. No mud, no lotus, as Thich Nhat Hanh teaches.

In short, spiritual practices are methods for transforming how we relate to the world. I like how the Tibetan Buddhist Master Ringu Tulku puts it:

"What we call practice is nothing other than working on our emotions: what really makes the difference is how the practice affects our minds & whether it helps us solve our emotional problems."

How about you? What's your what & your why?