Aliya Mughal

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What to do when feeling blue

There are some books that I turn to regularly, mostly when I wake, as I did this morning, inexplicably a tad grumpy, maybe owing to interrupted sleep, compounded by the windy nature of the season and my likewise prone to mood-shifting inner state (Vata-inclined in Ayervedic parlance).

This verse from The Way of the Boddhisattva, by the 8th century Indian monk and scholar Shantideva, caught my eye. Sharing it for anyone similarly feeling the disinclination of the season, aptly named Fall for some, signifying the mixed blessing of descent, decay & the eventual relief that comes after letting go:

“Do not be downcast, but marshal all your strength,

Take heart and be the master of yourself!

Practice the equality of self and other;

Practice the exchange of self and other.”

Shantideva's point - one that neuroscience and the wellbeing world has picked up centuries later - is that by changing our mental state, we can change our mind, shift from the despondency of negative self-talk by taking a rounder, kinder approach to ourselves. A major part of this is seeing outside of our own cocoon, connecting with others. This by no means belittles, denies or sidesteps the validity of our own state. It is merely a bridge to seeing that if we feel like sh** sometimes, others likely do too, which is cause for reconnection rather than despair.

Here's my how:

Look up - literally shift your gaze, out the window, to the sky, broaden your view, take a big breath.

See/feel otherwise - instead of ruminating on the blueness, find a source of uplift, whether in colour (hence the yellow), tone, sound or inspiration.

Help yourself by helping others - do something for someone else, however small, maybe big. Give to receive.

Move - there is a palpable energetic shift that occurs from stretching out, getting the heart pumping.

Take it easy - it's a fine balance, one that is beneficially countered by a little quiet. Hence:

Pause - instead of filling the sadness or glumness with distraction, noise and mindless busyness, allow it & watch it pass, because it eventually will. Ignoring it, like anything, won't make it go away. (Self) acceptance works better.

In short: do what it takes to break yourself free, gently, kindly, determinedly.