On doing hard things & feeling our feelings
I love second hand books. I love all books in fact. But there's something uniquely special about a book that's been leafed through, pondered over and passed along. A sense of which, if you're lucky, comes through from the marginalia and love notes within the folds.
These are the words on the inside cover of my pre-loved copy of Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche's The Joy of Living: "Dear Zach, If it's hard....do it! All the best, Wyan". My 11-year-old niece and I were sat reading our separate books in the garden recently when she asked me what my book was about. She noticed the inscription, which sparked a conversation about doing things that challenge us, and how navigating life's undulations does indeed, like the subtitle suggests, unlock the secret and science of happiness.
Are you sure that what you're telling yourself is really true?
Whenever we get carried away with our inner monologue, whether out of dreaded or hopeful anticipation, or the constant replay of conversations or events already gone by, we can veer towards a version of reality that is more draining on our mind and nervous system than it needs to be. The late great Zen master, poet, activist and writer Thich Nhat Hanh encouraged practitioners to ask ourselves in any moment like this, "are you sure?". In other words, check, are you sure this is true, might you be minimising or maximising the story, is the storyline you're telling helpful or necessary? Might there be something else going on? What is really happening and how can you face it mindfully?
Eyes wide shut: Are we seeing things clearly, or shutting ourselves off from reality?
Way back when I first started meditating when I was 17, it was candle gazing (trataka) that I was drawn to. For a long time, that was how I practiced, eyes wide open, focusing on the flickering flame, bringing deliberate attention back to what was in front of me whenever thoughts or distractions drew me away. At some point, I learned to meditate with eyes closed. Whichever way we choose to go about things, it is always wise to exercise some practical discernment and ask ourselves, why, what's the intention of my practice, how will it serve the way in which I engage with the world?
What to do when feeling blue
There are some books that I turn to regularly, mostly when I wake, as I did this morning, inexplicably a tad grumpy, maybe owing to interrupted sleep, compounded by the windy nature of the season and my likewise prone to mood-shifting inner state (Vata-inclined in Ayervedic parlance). Here are my tips, via the practices shared by the eighth century Dharma master and student Shantideva, on how to pivot your mind and your mood.