On having difficult conversations, and being better rather than doing more
Why do we yield to a torrent of mental anguish and work-based strain before we ask for help? What makes us believe that we have to hold an unbearable and impossible load alone? When we know that the unspoken expectation to "soldier on" serves the folks at the top of the proverbial layer cake and definitely not us, why do we do it? And how can we stop?
All useful questions to consider, and I encourage you to reflect on your own answers, but for the most part, I'd say they're not the primary focus when it comes to moving on skillfully, because a) we know the answers already (cultural conditioning, capitalism, social pressure, systemic inequality, etc), and yet we carry on regardless, which leads me to b) the realm of "why" can lead us to conceptualising, excusing, ruminating, lamenting and bemoaning. Whereas the more constructive and change-making approach is to ask: what now, what do I/we need to do differently, how can I/we help to make things better?
Getting clear on your needs & writing as a release
Clarifying what we need can help us to treat ourselves and others with greater care and attention. For me, writing is part of that process, of listening deeply. When I write, so much that comes out is garbage. And that's part of the process. A little glimmer or two of sense emerges from the sifting, by emptying out the waste matter the sense is easier to see.
Are you sure that what you're telling yourself is really true?
Whenever we get carried away with our inner monologue, whether out of dreaded or hopeful anticipation, or the constant replay of conversations or events already gone by, we can veer towards a version of reality that is more draining on our mind and nervous system than it needs to be. The late great Zen master, poet, activist and writer Thich Nhat Hanh encouraged practitioners to ask ourselves in any moment like this, "are you sure?". In other words, check, are you sure this is true, might you be minimising or maximising the story, is the storyline you're telling helpful or necessary? Might there be something else going on? What is really happening and how can you face it mindfully?
Leading from a place of insight and hope
It takes a lot to lead well: as well as the operational load of enabling people and processes, there’s the need to inspire and encourage employees to step up when they might not feel ready. It becomes an even weightier task in the face of uncontrollable extraneous circumstances – say, in the face of a global health pandemic that has thrown everything into seeming disarray, adding the management of radical change and anxiety to the leadership mix. As a leader, how do you deal with it?
We have to have the difficult conversations if we want to see change
There’s a phrase that’s been doing the rounds, as individuals and organisations have been waking up to the need to take responsibility for addressing the power imbalances that beset almost every aspect of society – “do the work”. But what does it mean, and how do we begin?
I’m working with the UK Arts Marketing Association as part of their Show Up programme, which challenges CEOs to explore what it means to work towards inclusion and accountability. One of my responsibilities is to blog about the experience. This is the first in a series of reflections.
The nauseating weight of words, via Harold Pinter
Whenever I get stuck with a piece of writing, when I have an idea but am unconvinced by my attempts to resolve it, I turn to the masters on my bookshelves for advice.
Always generous, always wise, eternally insightful, the books they have written and which I hold dear never fail to provide inspiration, sometimes usefully diverting me down another path so that I can return to my own with renewed hope.
Is it always wise to make an impact?
Where’s the value in what you do? What is the purpose of your work? Why do you live the life you lead?
These are the questions that regularly occur, in varying word formations, in many of the conversations I have.
Each of those questions assumes an answer, and carries with it the implication that it must be a noble one.
What if it's all been said before?
We writers are known for being tormented by the anxiety of influence.
The fear that one’s work is not original, that it isn’t good enough, that it might be a transmuted version of source material subconsciously absorbed and observed via the greats that precede us.
What’s the value in what we have to say, what’s the point in adding to the infinite pile, hasn’t it all been said before?
What difference do words make?
“Screw or fuck?” asks a member of Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM), to which another responds, “screw, it’s more visceral”.
It’s one of many striking moments in the 2014 film Pride, which tells the story of how in 1984, a group of lesbian and gay activists from London befriended a struggling Welsh community during the UK miners' strikes.
Literacy as democracy
"You wouldn't tell a sighted person, 'oh it doesn't matter if you can't read'. It shouldn't be any different for a blind person." The ability to read braille can transform the financial and social health of blind people, of which there are 360,000 in the UK according to the RNIB. That's why an emerging group of social entrepreneurs and activists have made it their mission to reinvigorate what they call "the braille nation".
No news is good news: Why cultivating ignorance is the way forward
What’s the point of the news? What purpose does it serve, does it do us any good, and how can we, as information consumers, manage the flow in a purposeful way? Answers via those who have tried and suggest that cultivating purposeful ignorance might actually empower rather than overload our intellect.
We need to talk about feminism
“Feminism is about repairing and imagining a new way of changing the world. It is not a set of demands, it’s about who we are,” in the words of activist and journalist Beatrix Campbell. Such a compelling call to action is surely something that we can all sign up to, isn’t it? The rallying cry for new social constructs and better political representation that is about the people, for the people. The trouble is, too many of those terms are fluid, undefined and susceptible to manipulation if not misinterpretation – politics, identity, community, feminism. Is it any wonder that we don’t know who we are or what we stand for, never mind knowing if we’re there yet?
Only nature can save us now
Irreversible species decline, catastrophic climate change, fresh water shortages and global food insecurity – it can be easy to despair when every day brings another slap in the face of a headline. With each new report, hope can disintegrate as surely as the ozone layer. But it doesn’t have to be like this – if we take the time to pause and reflect on the causes of despair, some say there is a chance we can save ourselves.
Women, know your place: Up front and ahead of the game
Here we are in 2015, approaching 90 years since women got the vote, being urged to celebrate all that we’ve achieved in honour of International Women’s Day. And there’s a lot to celebrate – we are not only more visible, we are also playing more of a leading role in society, politics, the economy and the arts. However, there’s no denying that the struggle isn’t over, we’ve a long way to go yet.
Foggy bridges, clouded minds: Can art make us care for Earth?
It’s fairly evident that we’re a selfish bunch — developing technologies that help us live as fast and hard as possible, spending money on products that will prolong pleasure if not life itself (though that’s also a heavily financed desperate pursuit), mining foreign lands for all they’re worth, all with relatively little regard for the long term consequences. But what of those consequences, and do we care enough to react?
How photography captures more than just a moment
Good photography not only tells a story but prompts a series of questions about the subject — what happened to make that woman’s face so cragged, what happened to the child after the photographer turned away, how did that landscape become so ravaged, what’s going on inside the rooms of that building reflected on the shiny surface of that skyscraper?
6 reasons why writing is a skill everyone should cultivate
The question of what motivates and inspires writers has enduring appeal for anyone eager to pursue the creative life. It also reveals some fascinating insights from which anyone can benefit. We all have a story to tell, as individuals, organisations, communities, societies, businesses. And just like any story, if it’s interesting enough and told well, people will listen.
To have or to be? That is the question
The changing face of development
High up in the majestic rolling hills of Rwanda sit some 100 men and women discussing how they intend to tackle the challenges that have beset progress in this remote village where soil erosion, poor harvests, heavy rainfall, precarious roads and lack of electricity are the norm. From improving their crop yields, to a desire for social structure, the people of Siganiro are eager for change.